MKOZAQ Engineer's Log

Melancholic vibe

Guest Post by: Ale

I’ve read on the internet that it’s actually a myth that there are more suicides during the winter holidays.

I’ve been feeling melancholic. I’m not using the word depression because this is a medical diagnosis, and I’m not sure I’m there yet, but there is an anxiety that makes me want to get out of my skin.

I need someone to give me something to do, to make me do stuff so that I don't have time to analyze my thoughts because it just saddens me. I'm a bookworm. But lately, I can't pick up a book. This is making things worse.

For me, 2021 was the worst year. Most people were feeling antsy in 2020 and are better now. I’m the opposite. Last year I read a lot, slept until I felt restful every day, exercised more, but getting back to the real world was hard: getting up at 7AM almost every day, being stuck in traffic, and having less time for myself.

Winter holidays are almost here, and I barely want to get out of bed. Happy people everywhere, decorations, good vibe floating in space. I want them to touch me too.

I’ll get over it. I know this. Until then, I wanted to share this with you.